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 Post subject: Poem :: Malachai, the Yeti Slayer!
PostPosted: Sun May 10, 2015 1:41 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jun 01, 2005 3:07 pm
Posts: 497
Location: Chester
Real Name: Pete Matthews
Malachai, the Yeti Slayer!

Ronan Diego Tyrnhand, 1115AF3

It gets cold in the Tundras of Siberjia
And lonely wanderers find comfort where they may
But for one lone traveller named Malachai
He got more than he bargained for that day

It was high in the Karpéðjan Mountains,
In a small cave where he huddled through the night.
Malachai, the Yeti Farmer!
Was about to be in for a fright.

It's not only the people that seek shelter,
From the cruel winds, that blow around the Vales.
And small caves aren't the places to argue
With a large Yeti with sharp teeth and nails.

Yeti are strange creatures really,
With soft fur and warm skin all around.
And it definitely made the place warmer,
With this wall of fur, 8ft tall from the ground.

The Yeti was dosile to start with,
And she let our hero snuggle up to keep warm.
Malachai, the Yeti Hugger!
Lay in her arms until dawn.

As he crawled out of the cave in the morning,
His hair dishevelled and clothes ripped and taut
The yeti followed out after him
"Is that a wink she gave me?" he thought.

It was then he looked around to see his audience.
Many faces he saw, all aghast.
A sherper, with a group of tourists,
All retreating down the mountain trail fast.

"It's not what you think!" cried Malachai,
And followed them some way down the trail
He's Malachai, the Yeti Lover!
Because no-one would believe the true tale.

He then spied another onlooker,
With his eyes locked on the yeti at the cave
He then locked his eyes on Malachai,
And Malachai tried to stay brave.

This yeti must have stood ten foot tall,
Yet he seemed taller in the morning light
He got down on all fours, and came running,
He wouldn't stop without a fight.

Malachai stepped to the side through instinct,
But too late not to be knocked off his feet
He'd dodged the initial killing blow,
But the yeti was far from beat.

"It's not what you think!" cried Malachai,
and punched the yeti in the head
He's Malachai, the Yeti Boxer
Yet he knew soon he could end up dead.

The other yeti came to protect him,
But that seemed to make her mate worse
A scorned lover with teeth and fur and claws
His revenge was exact, and terse.

Malachai's new friend wouldn't stand for it,
And against her mate stood tall.
Enraged, the yeti gored her,
And pinned her against the cliff wall.

Malachai cried out in horror,
As his new friend and saviour drew her last breath.
Malachai drew his sword in anger,
And lunged forth to avenge her death.

The yeti put up a good fight,
Yet he wasn't a match for our man.
He's Malachai, the Yeti Slayer!
And he'll keep that title if he can.

He came down from the mountain with both bodies,
Tired, and bloodied, and cold.
It was then he saw the chuckling
From men and women, both young and old.

A crowd started to grow around him,
As he dragged the bodies through the streets.
Yet he knew they weren't there to support him,
But to taunt him for sharing his sheets.

"It was a crime of passion", cried Malachai.
And the crowd fell silent, all around.
But the laughing soon grew louder
Into one great cacophonous sound.

"It was self defense", cried Malachai.
Having to raise his voice above the crowd.
One guy said "pull the other one!"
And howled out in laughter, aloud.

"It was cold blooded murder", cried Malachai,
Now red in the face, and eyes wide.
The crowd once again grew silent
Yet he felt he was fighting against the tide.

He tried to embelish the story,
Adding details of imaginary foe.
Bringing in new allies,
And telling a tale of woe.

He's Malachai, the Yeti Slayer
Yet he'll na'er get to tell you his tales
Of over coming 20 deadly yeti
In the cruel Siberjian Vales

He's Malachai, the Yeti Slayer
And now thanks to this humble bard,
His story can finally be told
Of a whole tribe of evil Yeti,
and brave Malachai,
oh so hard!

Lord Ronan 'Diego' Tyrnhand, Godhi of Tyr, Treasurer for The Shian Wolves.

"Damn you King Oberron; you've caused me more hassle this weekend than a half naked pirate!" -- GEF 1115

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