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 Post subject: Aunty Iz
PostPosted: Tue Jul 06, 2004 9:50 am 
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Joined: Tue Apr 27, 2004 8:38 am
Posts: 1067
Location: Starcraft Forest/Leeds
A problem shared is a problem doubled. Share your problems (via leystone) with Aunty Iz, Norsca's favourite agony aunt... And we really mean agony!


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu Jul 29, 2004 10:22 am 
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Joined: Tue Apr 27, 2004 8:38 am
Posts: 1067
Location: Starcraft Forest/Leeds
With apologies for the lateness of Aunty Iz's reply...

-----------------

Dear Aunty Iz,

I keep getting overluked for promotions. Im the best man for the job, any job! But mainly the particular jobs i keep being overlooked for! At least twice now ive been overlooked for one position and at least once for another i know of! And thems just the ones i know of!

Whats worse is the people they givin the positions too instead of me is no good! One doesnt do owt and the other is mentally unstable like! So how comes they can get the jobs i cant! Its a conspiracy i think...and i think i know who the people are behind it! Cos I knows they dont like me see!

What should i do? I keep trying to get noticed but it dont seem to be workin like.

Hope u can help cos im at my wits end. If they keeps keepin me down like this im gonna haves to do sumat!

Yurs

A non mouse



AUNTY IZ SAYS:
Dear non-mouse,

It sounds to me like you've fallen foul of the secret leader of the Younger Races. That's right deary, you've been crossed by The Man.

The Man is responsible for you missing all those promotions, for being under-appreciated in your work, and for the fact that you're never quite rich enough to be attractive to the opposite sex, living a cold lonely life and dying alone and unloved...

Sorry, dear, where was I? Oh yes, what you need to do is stick it to The Man. Get yourself noticed, be a bit rebellious. Here are some suggestions:

1 - Find the most brightly coloured outfit you can lay your hands on. Wear it and jump around like a lunatic, ideally singing loudly. The more tone-deaf you are, the better. Alternatively, ask Jaster to teach you his strange dance which he calls "The Macarena". A sure-fire way to get noticed.

2 - Find someone from another faction. Taverns are a good place for this. Get them drunk and then promise to do some diplomacy for them. Get them to sign theirs lands over to the Wolf faction. Show the document to faction high command. This will really impress people.

3 - Kill someone, maybe one of the people who took the job which is rightfully yours. It's okay to kill someone, so long as it's not premeditated. So whatever you do, make sure you don't think about killing them before you actually do it. That means now. Stop thinking about it. In fact, forget I even suggested it.

If sticking it to The Man doesn't work, you may have to sell your pattern to him instead. Have you tried talking to some high up important people, and being nice to them? Lord General Vlad is quite a nice chap, so long as you don't mention war to him and don't catch him at the wrong time of the month. Perhaps he can help. If not, at least he might know who you are afterwards.

I recommend reading "How To Win Friends And Suck Up To People" by Sycophant BrownNoseSson. And flossing regularly.

Aunty Iz


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Aug 09, 2004 12:22 pm 
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Joined: Tue Apr 27, 2004 8:38 am
Posts: 1067
Location: Starcraft Forest/Leeds
Dear Aunty Iz,

There I was, mindin' me own biz an' chillin with me 'homes' in Gehenna, when I suddenly find myself living in a real armpit of a place, bound to servitude for me entire natural life, (Which, believe me, could be a bloody long time!).
Now, it's not all THAT bad, but I've ended up having to write stuff an' file stuff an' tidy up after the fella, who, for the sake of anonymous-ness we'll call 'Ol' Octopus Head'.
This guy thinks he's a real ladies man too. It's embarrassin' to watch - especially since I don't actually think he's EVER dated within his own species!
(Whatever that is...).
He dresses like a colourblind Albione pimp, he can't hold his booze, an' he sings like a banshee with groin strain...

What am I supposed to do now??

Regards,
Notanimpatall,
c/o The Lotun's Arms
Folly's Rest

AUNTY IZ SAYS:
Dear BT... Erm, Notanimpatall,

It sounds to me like you've landed on your feet with this new position, but just haven't seen it yet. After all, you get to work under a gifted, talented and deeply attractive genius, and you could learn a lot from observing him. You get a nice warm dank place to live, all the armpit hair you can eat, and musical accompaniment to your work. The career advancement opportunities might well be second to none (or second to one or two, maybe, who knows?).

Notimpatall, it's time to put up, or shut up. And, given that your boss basically has you enthralled, you have no choice but to shut up.

I hope that helps. Good luck with chasing your bright future.

Aunty Iz

_________________
Don't mess with the Jester...


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